As part of the wrap up of IFJM, I wrote a wrap up of my experience from the month (and as it continues) and what I might or might not take away from that.
That set me to thinking. Which is both dangerous and wildly boring. Be warned.
My IFJM journal on my messy desk
I did a little review this week of all the journals I'm currently working in here and here. And yes, I forgot one or two.
What does all this show me?
It shows me that I am a happier person when I am having fun. It shows me that waiting for my kids to finish playing, lets me do this (below) instead of hurrying.
two views at a local environmental education center
It shows me that forcing myself to learn how to print and edit photos was as important as learning how to use a water brush pen and make a watercolor travel set. Doing these things pushed me out of my comfort zone. They reminded me that to learn to do a lot, I only need to learn to do one thing at a time. I say to my kids, "Do what you can do, don't do what you can't do." and I repeat that to remind them that they shouldn't get overwhelmed when confronted with a big project. Start where you are, with what you know Then look for the next thing you might be able to do. Then the next. Looking at the variety of journals I'm working with reminds me how much I've learned in the last two years. I'm eating the elephant one bite at a time.
photos used as pages and taped into my handmade pamphlet journal
One of the impulses that led me to start journaling was needing to be more present in my own life. Two years ago when I was sick and on prednisone for months, I felt removed from my own sensations. Journaling helped me in the middle of the night. Playing with color and pattern revived and connected me.
loving how gouache works in this journal
Now, I have several journals that are helping me organize and prioritize the mound of unfinished and scattered projects.
But another purpose I've discovered is that while I sort through mounds and mounds of papers (and I mean that) from years of "just too much to do to deal with that now", I've been able to create a place to include scraps and memorabilia, from both my past years and from life as I know it right now. I love that. Often, that helps me let go of some things, because I know that they are represented by others and will be immortalized. Because, you know, my journals will be immortal.
scraps incorporated with photos into a pamphlet journal
I have a lot of journals because they serve a lot of purposes. And since I'm trying to free myself from habits that hinder me into habits that help me, I can feel good about going in all these directions because, well, that's what I'm doing in my life.
The danger of looking at other people's beautiful blogs with other people's beautiful art is - for me- envy. It's easy to see what works for them. But what I need is what works for me. In my little scrap journal and my little scrap animals. (More on that tomorrow.)
Now that I have solved the world's problems (did you not follow how I did that?) I'm going to retire to my chair and ... maybe make an owl.
LinkLove : Defining Me Yes, she's also in my sidebar, but I have to give a shout out to Lee, because she consistently leaves encouraging comments that mean SO MUCH. It's a habit I am trying to cultivate. I also love the personality of her posts. They are a bright spot in my day. Thanks Lee
