Paint By Numbers

Post from Lizzie Bo on Grace's Journal for IFJM

(For my journal I used a Moleskin - a  blank 5"x8" cashier notebook)

    Last month I participated in Roz Stendahl's International Fake Journal Month.   She devised this as an opportunity to keep a journal as a persona, allowing one to explore what journal keeping would mean to a different person in different circumstances.  She suggests, for example, taking this an opportunity to break from your usual medium or subject matter or format size.  She explains all this much better on her website for IFJM.  

    I wanted to participate since I heard about it last year right at the end of the month.  I thought about trying it out on my own during the last year, but never left I had the right circumstances to sustain it on my own.  So I was really excited when April 1st finally rolled around.  My objectives for the month were pretty simple.  Draw as much as possible without being fanatical.  Stick to one subject as much as possible, without being fanatical.  Try to be consistent with my character while serving my own life circumstances, in other words, try not to be fanatical about the character.   Why all this emphasis on not being fanatical?  This is the kind of project that I would really love to throw myself into.  This is the kind of project that I have, at other times in my life,completely thrown myself into.  But moderation is the name of the game for me right now, and I needed to really remind myself of that to keep my expectations in check.  I wanted to feel successful about my participation because I want it to feed my general visual journaling which has been very helpful to me in my life.  

    And in fact I do feel very successful about the whole experience.  I carried my journal with me almost all the time.  I found there were many small and long moments when I could happily sketch in keeping with my character.  Being able to do this served the double purpose of keeping the momentum of IFJM going, but to a greater extent, it helped me handle some tedious and anxious moments by allowing me to refocus my attention on my surroundings (rather than my worries) and brought me into myself physically and mentally.

    My charactor was named Carrie and she worked as a waitress in a diner.  She was being encouraged to keep a sketchbook by her sister-in-law, Carrie, and she kept a blog where she posted the sketchbook pages for Carrie to see.  She was a little hard of hearing so she was uncomfortable using the phone.  This also meant that when she went to some places, she felt isolated and so used sketching as a way to connect herself with what was going on around her because conversation in large crowds was difficult (too much ambient noise).   Originally I had intended to sketch in the diner where I meet with my friends.  But circumstances fell out that this month we actually didn't meet very often.

    After the first week I realized that keeping the blog was a little too much as I was trying to get into the journal, so I gave Carrie a week of vacation during which she didn't have access to the scanner at her work.  That gave me a chance to really just focus on the journaling and get a backlog of pages while I was still getting in the rhythem of regular scanning/downloading/editing and posting  (I'm still a relative newbie to all this bloggie stuff).  

    One aspect of her journal that I enjoyed the most was treating it as a sketch class.  I focused mostly on people and I tried to think of them as models.  Sometimes I was able to work in a little more detail..  Sometimes it was a 30 sec sketch.  Often I had no idea how long I would have and so just started with what caught my eye and then kept going until - ding - they moved or shifted or I had to leave.  

    I had no idea how much I enjoyed sketching ponytails.  I found myself scanning crowds for ponytailed girls.  The second surprising aspect was I started to put details into people's faces.  I have avoided that this alast year because mostly I get disgusted with my wobbly hand and how careful faces need to be rendered.  But I started to feel like I could risk a little nose action or chin placement.  This might be just incremental change, but it's change for me, and I like where it's going.

    I'm going to have to think more about the fake journal aspect of this challenge and how I might better utilize it next time.  Having done it once, I have a better idea of where my resistance points were, and I need to think about those more.  I'm intriqued by the parts I found difficult, and that gives me plenty to ponder for next time.

    I've put a fresh journal into my bag.  I don't plan to do it in charactor and I'm changing the pen, but I do plan to continue to take advantage of as many of those moments as I can.  I could feel the improvement in how much I trusted my hand to capture what I wanted, and for me that is a big big deal.  I will probably continue with people for this journal.  With the pen switch, I will have enough of a challenge to keep things fresh and inviting.  

    Of course, the next best part of IFJM is looking at other people's fake journals.  I felt my fakeness was pretty boring compared to others (which is fine since it served my purposes) so it was really a blast to see how creative people got.  Thanks to all the other contributors and those who shared theirs on the blog.  It was a pleasure even if I didn't leave comments.  I hope to see all of you and many more next year.

 

 

 

Last pages. Wow

After church on Sunday I went out with mom to a - gasp - diner.  Tom's is open.  Tom's is now owned by another guy named Marco, and he always laughs when he sees me Sundays.  He always teases me by offering me a job, but I notice he can't keep his girls long, so I just smile.  Mom gets insulted.  She's still waiting for me to make something of myself.   

I like drawing people in groups.  I liked how the middle lady had her hands, although I didn't draw it well.  But they started getting nervous at me staring at them so I figure it was a private conversation.  I went to the bathroom and when I came back I switched sides with mom and drew the sugar and ketckup.  You notice our lunch hadn't arrived yet.  Another reason I'll stay put.

 

For the last page of this journal, I finally drew some people in the diner, and the outside on a small break.  I liked the ladeis in the booth until I realized I got her legs all wrong  And I liked her purse on the floor.  And the diner looks like the diner.  I can't thiink how many times I've come through those doors.  It always looks small from the outside.  

And that's it for this book.  I actually filled it up this month.  I got another one.   I think I am going to try to use that pen.  But maybe give myself a couple days break.  Unless I get unvited to a game or concert this weekend.  Maybe the high school has a play.  Smile.

Tell Doofus  to call mom.  Tell him to call mom.  Tell him he's a doofus for not calling his mother more.  Let her say what she needs to say and then say, thanks mom.  Love ya and that will be the end of it.  No biggie.   Doofus, you are a doofus.  Call your mother.

Taking Mom to Church Meeting

Didn't feel well over the weekend, but got out of work on Saturday so that I could take mom to this church meeting she really wanted to go to.  They did it in the Chapel which doesn't have the loop so I can't follow along, so for a while I sat outside and drew.  My headache lifted for a while and that was really nice.

Bricks make me nervous but I gave them a try anyway.  I dont' know why, but I liked that and the piano.  Just fun.  Then I drew some of the people in the pews around me.  I try not show people what I'm doing because I don't think it's very flattering.  Just because I feel good about the way the angle of the collar came out, doesn't mean they feel like they look good.   

For some reason today I wanted color.  That doesn't usually happen, but when I was drawing the bricks, I really wanted to use a little color.  Maybe that's the next thing I'll try.  I'll just have to figure out how to do that.  

I keep cutting off people's heads.  Got to work on that too. 

 Carrie, I want to thank you for encouraging me to do this.  I feel silly sometimes when I get out the pad, but I can see that it helps to do it again and again.  So thank you for being so nice and for the little tips you give me.  I think sometimes you must just laugh at my silliness, but I keep telling myself that everyone starts somewhere.  Sooo....  I'm going to get another book because this one is almost full and see if I can keep going.    I just had an idea.  How about if in the next book I do nothing but use that other pen you sent?  Maybe do that for a while (I almost said month, but I'm not making any promises).  Maybe tomorrow after work I'll go look for another book.  So... thanks again.  I have one more set of pictures.

"missing pages"

They weren't missing.  I just don't like them.  I can't think of anything good to say about them except maybe that I did them.  You said I shoudl really try to do something at work, and I did but it was so busy and I was very selfconcious.  But here they are.

 

One is of the corner where I end up looking when I wait for an order, but really I guess I have a habit of not looking because I didnt' "see" anything.  It just was a rush to put down lines.

 Then in a bit of break I drew the grill while Karen gave us a run down of the schedule etc and since mine's kind of set I really didn't pay attention which she didn't care.  She's ready to fire Chrissie, but she doesn't have anyone lined up yet, so she's waiting.  I'm just biting my tongue because she is so rude to me I can't stand it.  She thinks I don't know she makes fun of me and the way I talk.  Well, when she's late no one covers for her, and she wonders why.  

These were after work.  You can't tell but those are crackers.  I just was in a rush.  And the same with my salad.  I'm glad to get a meal and it's good to unwind, but I was too tired to concentrate on the details.  So I rushed through both.  So if I learned anything, it was that sometimes you should just put the pencil down. Or the pen cap back on and eat.  Then maybe draw later.  Which is what I did the next night at the band concert that was pretty good.    It's late.  I'm tired.  My shoulder is hurting tonight and I have a bad headache.  I stopped by to see mom and she was in a pretty good mood.  It was a nice evening, but now I'm done done done.